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I Love You Beth Cooper

I Love You  Beth Cooper PDF
Author: Larry Doyle
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061842494
Size: 57.86 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 304
View: 1007

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Denis Cooverman wanted to say something really important in his high school graduation speech. So, in front of his 512 classmates and their 3,000 relatives, he announced: "I love you, Beth Cooper." It would have been such a sweet, romantic moment. Except that Beth, the head cheerleader, has only the vaguest idea who Denis is. And Denis, the captain of the debate team, is so far out of her league he is barely even the same species. And then there's Kevin, Beth's remarkably large boyfriend, who's in town on furlough from the United States Army. Complications ensue.

Deliriously Happy

Deliriously Happy PDF
Author: Larry Doyle
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062096818
Size: 58.53 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
Category : Literary Collections
Languages : en
Pages : 288
View: 5419

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Do you like dogs? Babies? Baby dogs? Have you ever eaten ice cream or had love troubles? Wish there were dirty parts in The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this is the book for you. It’s all here: This impressively consecutive collection of funny writing by Larry Doyle, the winner of the 2008 Thurber Prize for American Humor, a former writer for The Simpsons, and the author of I Love You, Beth Cooper, brings together an astonishing range of subjects under the umbrella of hilarious—an umbrella that is your free gift if you order right now. Too late. But you can still take home this enormously entertaining read, featuring writing from the New Yorker, Esquire, and National Lampoon, along with never-before-seen pieces only available in this exclusive offer. Here’s what other happy customers had to say: “[Doyle] is, as his credits suggest, wickedly funny.” —New York Times Book Review “If Earth ever needs an Interplanetary Humor Ambassador, Larry Doyle’s the guy.”—Washington Post

How Not To Kill Your Baby

How Not to Kill Your Baby PDF
Author: Jacob Sager Weinstein
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449410391
Size: 66.21 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 144
View: 782

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"This laugh-out-loud hilarious book is mandatory reading for parents, and should be taught in schools as the "cautionary tale" portion of Sex Ed. Run don't walk to buy it, and if you're a baby with lethal parents, crawl don't roll." --Rob Kutner (writer, The Daily Show, Conan, The Future According To Me) "Unlike babies themselves, copies of Jacob Sager Weinstein's book can be bought and sold on the open market. Buy two and bring joy and laughter to the lives of a copy-less couple." --Jose Arroyo (writer, Conan) "The "s-a-g-e" in Jacob's middle moniker indicates exactly that. He is a whimsically wise and hysterically funny fellow whom any child (or book buying adult) would be wise to listen to." --Dennis Miller "If you don't buy this book and then your baby dies, how are you going to feel? Pretty bad, I imagine." --Larry Doyle (writer, I Love You Beth Cooper; Go, Mutants!; The Simpsons) Have you ever read a parenting book that left you feeling inadequate and/or terrified? In other words, have you ever read any parenting book whatsoever? If so, you need How Not To Kill Your Baby, a hilarious parody of every fear-mongering, crazy-making pregnancy and parenting manual you've ever cringed over. Just consider the following advice: * "As you know if you have ever seen someone give birth in a movie or television show, all newborns emerge with adorable round faces, pudgy limbs, and twinkling eyes. If, by contrast, the nurse hands you a tiny, squawling creature with the face of an old man and skin covered in goo, hand it back immediately. There has clearly been some sort of mixup with a nearby ward for senile midgets." * "It's essential that you keep careful track of your baby's every bodily function. That way, when she is president of the United States and a paranoid-minded conspiracy movement springs up denying her eligibility for the position, you will have documentary proof that she did, in fact, poop on U.S. soil at 8:23AM on February 23." * "When choosing a nursery school, make sure to visit first, and ask the teachers about their educational philosophies. Then ask about their criminal records. If they insist they have none, you may need to keep asking, perhaps while shining a bright light in their face. Also, take their fingerprints, then follow them home from a discreet distance and go through their trash. Oh, and don't forget to thank them for their dedication to helping the young!" * "It is easy to adjust your parenting techniques as your children grow: simply do and say the exact same things, but raise your voice by one decibel for every year of your child's age." How Not To Kill Your Baby is printed on child-safe, 100% piranha-free paper, and bound without the use of exploding staples. You'll get no such promise from What To Expect When You're Expecting. How Not To Kill Your Baby is the book for you... unless you're some kind of baby-hating creep who wants to parent all wrong.

I Love You Beth Cooper

I Love You  Beth Cooper PDF
Author: Larry Doyle
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061744859
Size: 29.33 MB
Format: PDF
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 267
View: 2505

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Announcing his love for the head cheerleader during his valedictorian commencement speech, Denis Cooverman is inducted into the wilder side of youth culture by the object of his affection, who turns out to be more than he bargained for. Inspiration for the forthcoming movie starring Hayden Panettiere (Heroes). Movie Tie-In. Reprint.

Ghosts Of Kansas

Ghosts of Kansas PDF
Author: Beth Cooper
Publisher: Schiffer Pub Limited
ISBN: 9780764333903
Size: 40.93 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
Category : Body, Mind & Spirit
Languages : en
Pages : 158
View: 1204

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Meet the ghosts of Kansas! Visit with a librarian who moves books at the State Capitol and ghosts that have been known to go home with patrons at River House. Learn about the Holton House spirit seen on a thermal imaging camera. Drink a cold brew with a ghost at Fat Matt's, the Twilighter, and PJs Bar. Relive college days at the haunted fraternity in Manhattan, where a ghost rattles doorknobs during tours. Buy a hammer from Ghostly Grandpa at his hardware store in Shawnee. Kansas ghosts are here to thrill and entertain you!

Go Mutants

Go  Mutants  PDF
Author: Larry Doyle
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062000144
Size: 50.29 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 400
View: 2253

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Larry Doyle, the author of I Love You, Beth Cooper, returns with Go, Mutants!, a hilariously outrageous novel of teenage angst and restlessness, populated with heroes and villains straight out of the classic sci-fi and teen movies of the ‘50s and ‘60s. Soon to be a major motion picture from Universal Studios, Larry Doyle’s Go, Mutants! is the funniest, most original bit of genre-bending since Pride, Prejudice and Zombies. This story of alien high school rebels without a cause is sure to bring out the unabashed B-movie fan in everyone.

I Love You Beth Cooper

I love you  Beth Cooper PDF
Author: Hayden Panettiere
Publisher:
ISBN:
Size: 36.39 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 97
View: 1721

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Something Missing

Something Missing PDF
Author: Matthew Dicks
Publisher: Crown
ISBN: 0767932188
Size: 68.76 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 304
View: 7480

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"The story of an obsessive-compulsive housebreaker whose every waking moment is jam-packed with finicky clockwork ritual--the kind of intense micro-planning that might have made even Napoleon back off...Matthew Dicks has created an unforgettable character that will have you torn between wanting to throttle him--or adopt him." --Alan Bradley, author of the New York Times bestselling Flavia de Luce novels A career criminal with OCD tendencies and a savant-like genius for bringing order to his crime scenes, Martin considers himself one of the best. After all, he’s been able to steal from the same people for years on end—virtually undetected. Of course, this could also be because of his unique business model—taking only items that will go unnoticed by the homeowner. After all, who would notice a missing roll of toilet paper here, a half-used bottle of maple syrup there, or even a rarely used piece of china buried deep within a dusty cabinet? Even though he's never met these homeowners, spending hours in their houses, looking through their photo albums and reading their journals, he feels like he knows them. So Martin decides to meddle more in their lives—playing the part of a rather odd guardian angel—even though it means breaking many of his neurotic rules. In this hilarious, suspenseful and often profound novel about a man used to planning every second of his life, Martin comes to realize that life is much better lived on the edge (at least some of the time).

Beach Week

Beach Week PDF
Author: Susan Coll
Publisher: Sarah Crichton Books
ISBN: 9781429932813
Size: 12.45 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 336
View: 4332

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Ah, "beach week": a time-honored tradition in which the D.C. suburbs' latest herd of high school grads flocks to Chelsea Beach for seven whole days of debauched celebration. In this dark comedy, ten teenage girls plan an unhinged blowout the likes of which their young lives have never seen. They smuggle vodka in water bottles and horde prescription drugs by the dozen. Meanwhile, their misguided, affluent parents are too busy worrying about legal liabilities to fret over some missing pills or random hookups. For Jordan Adler and her family, though, this rite of passage threatens to become more than just frivolous fun. The teen's parents, Leah and Charles, might not let their only child go at all. Their marriage is in shambles, their old house is languishing on the market, and the bills are stacking up. With all that stress, it soon seems they're behaving as irresponsibly as their daughter and her friends. With the wit of Nora Ephron and the insight of Tom Perrotta, Susan Coll satirizes a new teenage rite of passage, in the process dismantling the lives of families in transition. Beach Week is a hilarious, well-observed look at the end of childhood and the human need to commemorate it—expensively.

Submarine

Submarine PDF
Author: Joe Dunthorne
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1588366707
Size: 59.14 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 320
View: 1139

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NOW A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE • “[Dunthorne’s] precocious talent and cheerful fondness for the teenage male are showcased in Submarine. . . . Oliver’s voice is funny and dead-on.”—The New York Times Book Review(Editors’ Choice) At once a self-styled social scientist, a spy in the baffling adult world, and a budding, hormone-driven emotional explorer, Oliver Tate is stealthily nosing his way forward through the murky and uniquely perilous waters of adolescence. His objectives? Uncovering the secrets behind his parents’ teetering marriage, unraveling the mystery that is his alluring and equally quirky classmate Jordana Bevan, and understanding where he fits in among the mystifying beings in his orbit. Struggling to buoy his parents’ wedded bliss, deep-six his own virginity, and sound the depths of heartache, happiness, and the business of being human, what’s a lad to do? Poised precariously on the cusp of innocence and experience, Oliver Tate aims to damn the torpedoes and take the plunge. BONUS: This edition contains an excerpt from Joe Dunthorne's Wild Abandon. Praise for Submarine “[Joe Dunthorne is] probably destined to be compared with Mark Haddon and Roddy Doyle.”—The Miami Herald “This absolutely winning debut novel isn’t so much a coming-of-age tale as it is a reflection on what it means to be a certain age and of an uncertain mind.”—Los Angeles Times “A brilliant first novel by a young man of ferocious comic talent.”—The Times (London) “Preternaturally wise, slightly devious and highly entertaining.”—USA Today

Missing Links

Missing Links PDF
Author: Rick Reilly
Publisher: Anchor
ISBN: 0307793893
Size: 58.37 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 288
View: 905

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When a group of middle-class buddies obsessed with golf set up a bet to see who can finagle their way onto the nearby private course, their friendship is tested in ways they had never expected in this humorous novel from Rick Reilly, one of America’s most popular sportswriters. Missing Links is the story of four middle class buddies who live outside of Boston and for years have been 1) utterly obsessed with golf and 2) a regular foursome at Ponkaquoque Municipal Course and Deli, not so fondly known as Ponky, the single worst golf course in America. Just adjacent to these municipal links lies the Mayflower Country Club, the most exclusive private course in all of Boston and a major needle in their collective sides. Frustrated by the Mayflower's finely manicured greens and snooty members, three of Ponky's finest and most courageous—Two Down, Dannie, and Stick—set up a bet: $1,000.00 apiece, and the first man to somehow finagle his way on to the Mayflower course takes all. Lying, cheating, and forgery are encouraged, to put it mildly, and with the constant heckling and rare aid of Chunkin' Charlie, Hoover, and Bluto--a few more of Ponky's elite--the games begin. One of the three will eventually play the Mayflower's course, but their friendships--and everything else--will change as various truths unravel and the old Ponky starts looking like the home they never should have left.

Calico Joe

Calico Joe PDF
Author: John Grisham
Publisher: Dell Publishing Company
ISBN: 0345541332
Size: 74.13 MB
Format: PDF
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 272
View: 5211

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Follows the divergent paths of a rookie hitter for the Chicago Cubs and a hard-hitting Mets pitcher.

Strange Fits Of Passion

Strange Fits of Passion PDF
Author: Anita Shreve
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
ISBN: 0547545371
Size: 61.21 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 352
View: 1202

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The reader is left to uncover the truth in this labryinth of a tale, a riveting story told within the framework of one reporter's notes and a woman's letters from prison. Everyone believes that Maureen and Harrold English, two successful New York City journalists, have a happy, stable marriage. It's the early '70s and no one discusses or even suspects domestic abuse. But after Maureen suffers another brutal beating, she flees New York with her infant daughter and seeks refuge in a small coastal town in Maine. The weeks pass slowly, and just as Maureen begins to heal physically and emotionally, Harrold finds her, bringing the story to a violent, unforgettable end.

Om The Otter

Om the Otter PDF
Author: Parvati Shallow
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781734545319
Size: 12.19 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
Category :
Languages : en
Pages :
View: 5733

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Om the Otter helps us to slow down, lighten up, and enjoy the ride. Through presence, compassion and breathing, Om shows us how to be truly helpful when we see someone experiencing difficult emotions & center ourselves.

Vanished

Vanished PDF
Author: E. E. Cooper
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0062293893
Size: 74.58 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 320
View: 782

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Gone Girl meets Pretty Little Liars in the first book of this fast-paced psychological thriller series full of delicious twists and turns. Friendship. Obsession. Deception. Love. Kalah knows better than to fall for Beth Taylor . . . but that doesn't stop her from falling hard and falling fast, heart first into a sea of complications. Then Beth vanishes. She skips town on her eighteenth birthday, leaving behind a flurry of rumors and a string of broken hearts. Not even Beth's best friend, Britney, knows where she went. Beth didn't even tell Kalah good-bye. One of the rumors links Beth to Britney's boyfriend, and Kalah doesn't want to believe the betrayal. But Brit clearly believes it—and before Kalah can sort out the truth, Britney is dead. When Beth finally reaches out to Kalah in the wake of Brit's suicide, Kalah wants to trust what Beth tells her. But she's swiftly realizing that nothing here is as it seems. Kalah's caught in the middle of a deadly psychological game, and only she can untangle the deceptions and lies to reveal the unthinkable truth.

No Way To Treat A First Lady

No Way To Treat a First Lady PDF
Author: Christopher Buckley
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1588362574
Size: 56.80 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 304
View: 6464

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A New York Times Notable Book of the Year Elizabeth Tyler MacMann, the ambitious First Lady of the United States (and known in the tabloids as “Lady Bethmac”), is on trial for the death of her philandering husband, and the only man who can save her is the boyfriend she jilted in law school—now the most shameless defense attorney in America. Published to rave reviews, No Way to Treat a First Lady is a hilariously warped love story for our time set in the funniest place in America: Washington, D.C.